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2015 Power Rankings-Week 8
<---Previous Week [[2015 Power Rankings-Week 9|Next Week--->]] Introduction “The Fantasy Football is strong in my family. I have a team. My dad has a team. My sister would have a team if I had a sister. You have a team too…” Welcome to Star Wars Week in the League of Champions Power Rankings. We passed the halfway point of the season sometime mid-Sunday while ma ma momma said was getting his skull bashed in by Lamar Miller. As is tradition here in the LOC, it is time for mid-season superlatives. Enhanced with the power of the Force, these will be the best Power Rankings you’ll find this side of the Degobah System. The League Turns 60! This week will be the 60th regular season week in the LOC. Seven teams will have played in every single week and for that I am grateful. I hope we hit 160 with nine of the same ten teams we have now (I’m assuming that Pat will have Force Choked at least one opponent to death by then). Join the Club Congrats to Reign Maker for being the first team to join the 13,000-point club. Will any team be able to hit 13,000 faster than RM, who accomplished the feat in 59 games? The Shotti Bunch is 2628.06 points away after 46 games. To break 13K in 58 games they will have to average 219.01 PPG. Congrats to Papa’s Posse for becoming the 7th team to join the 11,000 point club. In stark contrast to Reign Maker, Papa is the slowest team to ever reach 11K. Does anyone have what it takes to take longer to reach the mark? Dee is 4892.68 away through 33 games and will have to average under 181.21 PPG. The Manning Rule The Manning Rule states that no member of the Manning family can ever do what you want them to do at any point. Want them to play well? Time to throw a ton of picks. Want them to play poorly? Guess what, they're having the game of their lives. The Manning Rule has been in effect since the dawn of time and this season ma ma momma said is learning first hand what it means to be a victim of the Mannings. New This Week Added stat pages: Highest Point Totals by a Losing Team and Lowest Point Totals by a Winning Team. Standingsapalooza The following graph shows four different versions of the standings. The first are the actual standings, the second are where everyone would be if they played every team every week, the third are what the Yahoo draft day projections were and the fourth are the current Yahoo projections. Mista Chan is Not Impressed Mista Chan is here to shame anyone who starts players who are either on bye or ruled out of their games. This week two teams recieve "confused Jackies." The first is ma ma momma said for starting Jeremy Maclin after he was ruled out with a concusion. The next is Fire Goodell for starting Dion Lewis after he was downgraded to "out" with a hip injury. The Rankings 1(3). GaroppoblowMe Applicable Movie Title: Revenge of the Sith Your Star Wars Character: The Emperor Applicable Quote: “As you can see, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station!” Star Wars Superlative: Most likely to let his anger cloud his judgement. For the first time this season, the league will witness a fully operational GBM squad as they enter a tough battle with the reigning champ. It will be the first time since week 3 that all top RBs and WRs will be playing together. Hatred of Jimmy Graham is growing at an alarming rate and waiting in the wings is Gary Barnage, second among all TEs in scoring. This is the second year in a row that GBM has nabbed a player who has broken out at age 30 after Justin Forsett was the lone bright spot for the team last year. 2(5). #FreeOJ Applicable Movie Title: The Phantom Menace Your Star Wars Character: Anakin Skywalker (before he becomes the character people like) Applicable Quote: “Someday I will be the most powerful Jedi ever!” Star Wars Superlative: Most likely to Force Choke in the playoffs #FreeOJ continued his dominance over Dee this week, improving to 4-0 in the regular season against them. They now have their longest win streak since 2013 and has sneakily become a top contender in the league. They are the phantom menace, if you will, among all playoff contenders. He has been underestimated by everyone and continues to insist that he will be the most powerful team in the galaxy. 3(4). The Shotti Bunch Applicable Movie Title: The Empire Strikes Back Your Star Wars Character: General Grievous Applicable Quote: “Time to abandon ship.” Star Wars Superlative: Best duel-wielding lightsaber fighter. Just how much did the balance of power sway when Arian Foster was lost for the season with a torn achilles? Shotti was 3-0 with Foster seeing over 10 carries and 2-2 without. No matter how you slice it losing a guy who was averaging 26.45 PPG over the last 3 weeks is not good. However, they are still swinging two lightsabers appropriately named Hopkins and Gronk, two players who happen to be the top scorers of their respective positions. Just like General Grievous when you chop off one of his arms he still has another ten he can swing at you with. 4(1). ma ma momma said Applicable Movie Title: Attack of the Clones Your Star Wars Character: Princess Leia Applicable Movie Quote: “Help me Eli Manning, you’re my only hope.” Or something like that. Star Wars Superlative: Most likely to pick the wrong droid for their X-Wing right before the big battle. ma ma momma said has had a confusing season, to say the least. MMMS is 4-1 when starting Peyton Manning and 0-2 when starting Eli, yet Eli has outscored Peypey on the season by 81.43 points. The Mannings seem to be playing Jedi mind tricks on momma, who desperately needs one or the other to step up lest they be faced with a tough decision come playoff time. The Manning clones aren’t the only headache. Maclin’s concussion cost them a much-needed starting spot this week and there’s also a tight-end controversy looming. 5(6). Reign Maker Applicable Movie Title: A New Hope Your Star Wars Character: R2-D2 Applicable Quote: “Beep boop beep beep blop bleep.” Star Wars Superlative: Most Likely to have the tool they need hidden somewhere in their canister-shaped body. Reign Maker has some unique tricks up his sleeves. Or in his sleeves? Do droids have sleeves? The production out of Woodhead is just the beginning. I mean we all love The Great Woodhead, but did any of us (other than Reign Maker) think he could be that great? In a smart trade with P9 they acquired rookie phenom Stephanie Diggs (I think that’s his name?) and made a great pickup of Ebron to make up for his TE on the bye this week. RM is now 7-2 vs. MMMS and with the win they ensured that they would hold the all-time regular season win record for at least the rest of the 2015 season. No matter what RM needs, QB, TE, RB, they seem to find what they are looking for and that is a scary thing. 6(2). Deez Sons of Bitchez Applicable Movie Title: The Force Awakens Your Star Wars Character: Padme Amidala Applicable Quote: “So this is how liberty my team dies...with thunderous applause.” Star Wars Superlative: Most likely to have kids whose fantasy teams are way better than hers. Just like in the movies, Dee was killed by OJ this week in the LOC. I’m sure Dee pleaded for mercy but was given none. The Philly defense that helped beat GBM last week failed to produce and has since been dropped, while Rodgers substitute Stafford was a dud. Larry Fitz failed to break 10 points for the first time this season. Dee’z road doesn’t get any easier. They face 2nd place Shotti next week. Still, this is not the same team that we’ve seen in previous seasons. There has been an awakening. Dee should still be able to make playoffs for the first time in franchise history. 7(7). Papa’s Posse Applicable Movie Title: Return of the Jedi Your Star Wars Character: Obi-Wan Kenobi Applicable Quote: “Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me?” Star Wars Superlative: Most Likely to go mad and hide away in the desert. Early this season PP was catching all the breaks, and then the luck broke. Papa is 3-2 when scoring under 200 points and 0-2 when scoring over 200. That has to drive an owner crazy knowing the better your team does the better your opponent seems to do. This week may be their last chance to save the season when they face Paddock 9. The Houston Defense has been terrible, there’s no better way to put it. But next week they unleash their newest weapon, Green Bay. Will Papa make a triumphant return? Or will they go by the way of the Death Stars and explode? 8(10). Paddock 9 Applicable Movie Title: Rogue One Your Star Wars Character: Han Solo Applicable Quote: “Never tell me the odds.” Star Wars Superlative: Most likely to fall one game short of the playoffs and get stuck in the Death Star Garbage Pit. It’s hard to tell just how much potential this team had now that they have become a smuggler, pirating players to other teams for space dollars (which we call draft picks). They went on a tear this week and moved up two spots to #8 in the seeding. P9 would have 34 wins if they played every team every week. In comparison, first place GB, would have 36. But they decided to go rogue and start prepping for next season. If they win this week, they might have to un-cancel the season. Though the odds of coming back from a 2-5 start are...oh right, DON’T tell you the odds. 9(9). TEAM MANBEARPIG Applicable Movie Title: Untitled Star Wars Sequel Your Star Wars Character: C-3PO Applicable Quote: “We’re doomed.” Star Wars Superlative: Most Likely to be dismantled and used for scraps. C3PO knows many dialects. TEAM MANBEARPIG knows many QBs. They have four QBs on their roster and Big Ben is the only one that has won them a game. Lucky for them, Ben comes back this week and might be able to turn this team around. Still, they have back to back games against tough opponents before they face their three fellow bottom dwellers starting in week 10. By then they may have fully rusted or worse, had their limbs torn from their body by a wookie. TMBP gets an untitled sequel because the future is unknown for this team. They have the potential to be great or they could be a perennial playoff bust. The future will tell whether we get another "Empire Strikes Back" or another "Attack of the Clones." 10(8). Fire Goodell Applicable Movie Title: The Star Wars Holiday Special Your Star Wars Character: Jar-Jar Binks Applicable Quote: “Monsters out there, leaking in here. Weesa all sinking and no power. Whena yousa thinkin’ we are in trouble?” Star Wars Superlative: Most likely to be written out of the sequels. To put it bluntly, Fire Goodell is this year’s me from last year. Things just aren’t panning out the way they were supposed to. We’ve all been there (unless you’re Reign Maker or Shotti) and I’m sure many of us will be there again (unless you’re Reign Maker or Shotti). At this point, FG needs to focus on his franchise legacy. He is in danger of losing his 2nd all-time win total to #FreeOJ in the next few weeks and still has a chance to control his own draft destiny if he can win the Consolation Tournament in December. For those who don’t know, The Holiday Special is worth a google. It’s probably the worst thing to ever happen to Star Wars, which is saying a lot considering George Lucas’ propensity for ruining his own series. FG has made some bad decisions this year but it’s never too late to turn things around and go out with a bang. Matchup of the Week Once again Reign Maker is in a huge matchup and once again I am not choosing them for my matchup of the week. It’s nothing against them, but their season is still very much alive. In the matchup between Paddock 9 and Papa’s Posse, one season is about to die. Both teams have stepped their game up and this looks to be a close one. Both QBs go up against terrible defenses (TB for P9 and CLE for PP), while on the other end Papa has his new Defense facing their toughest challenge of the season. I’m trying to think of who would feel more crushed by losing this game and it’s probably Papa because he has a better chance at playoffs, so for that reason I think the Fantasy Gods will award Paddock 9 with a victory (making it hurt all the more when P9 fails to reach playoffs by one point in week 13).